Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
