I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
