I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
