I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
