Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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