Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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