Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Boobs speak an international language.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize