Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
