SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
