Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
