My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
