i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
