He had one of those small greek statue penises
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
