going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
