he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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