Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
