I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
The feeling are messing with the penis
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize