I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize