Pappa wants mamma naked
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
