Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
