I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Randomize
