Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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