Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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