I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
How does one acquire holy water?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
