Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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