can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
