He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
