I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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