i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
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