Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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