apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
