So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
