You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
