They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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