I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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