I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
