Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
