I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Found your dick twin last night
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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