i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
