yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize