I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
