is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
