then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
At least make sure they are 18
Why
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
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