I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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