i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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