I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
