Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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