I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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