Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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