maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
