I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
