Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
