his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
