My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
