You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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