I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
