you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize