i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
