ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
