i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He better not be in your backpack
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
