I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
And then my night got REAL pukey
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
