hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
