I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
