No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
how does that bad decision feel?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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